Narcistic Personality Disorder

Mental illness runs deep in my family, including narcistic personality disorder. There's one person in particular that I think has it. It's difficult because unlike say depression, manic episodes, schzeophernia and probably a lot of other mental health problems, this one seems to be at least, one that stays under the radar and it's only family or care givers that suffer. 

As you have probably figured out I am not one for getting out textbooks and writing academic articles, but I feel this entry does somewhat lean towards that, and I feel I need to get issues surrounding this off my chest. 

Let's start from the begining ,growing up, from a very young age, at every birthday party of me and my siblings , Christmas do, New Year's party, one care giver in particular would shout at us, for things such as what we wore, the fact that we made a bit of a mess, inviting someone this so called care giver did not like. The people she did not like we're , and I think rightfully so, people who had grew inpatient with her mistreatment of others and so instead of acknowledging they could at all be right she would bitch about them, throw shade and petty remarks. 

Fortunately for these people they did not live with us, and let's face it could walk away. But for the rest of us, those that were dependent on her. This alleged care giver would focus on buying us pretty clothes, and take us to nice resturants, but I can honestly say that is as far as her alleged care giving went. She was never there for me and my siblings, never attended parents evenings, cared about whether we did or didn't do our homework, had breakfast lunch and dinner. It seemed to be about her and her image on a very superficial level. 

Empathy with this care giver was, in my opinion none existent. Had we tried to discuss our own personal  issues and concerns with her she would simply tell us that we were depressing her and to sort it out ourselves. However when it came to her and her venting her own frustrations and concerns we were basically unpaid counsellors. 

As adults, you might be wondering why we do not confront this alleged caregiver, that maybe she does not realise she's doing this, or had done this. It's a fair assumption. However in reality it's one that is so not the case. Even me who is avoids  confrontation has not been able to bite my tounge. It is this lack of empathy, lack of concern from others, believing that they are the centre of the universe so to speak, and belief they are so much better then everyone else, despite not having the means to prove it, that 💯 makes me believe they have narcistic personality disorder.