Parenting and Accountability

Okay hear me out. I am not a parent, but we were all children once. Mine consisted of a somewhat shall we say ' interesting parenting style' (or in my opinion lack there of) so I feel qualified to write about what you definately should not do. I suppose like any category within society, not everyone is cut out to be a mother and father, yet for some reason, by choice, they have a child, or in this care four children. I am not willing to talk about my views on abortion so will leave this view out, but you might be able to guess. And hey it's up to the parent, at least it is for the most part here in England . Just be accountable for it. 

From a very young age I was a very shy kid. Despite going to preschool I was very shy.  I can remember for the most part I was playing on my own. Come primary school I did have a few male aquitences, who although did not feel that close to, were very friendly towards one  another. 

A tiny part of me wonders if I was not sent to mosque school every day after school,  would we all have hang out more, and would I have been better equipped to deal with social issues in adolences and child hood. Mosque school was although educational, did not exact leave much room for socialising whereby you were usually wacked for talking . Not only that, as someone who is not muslim, I can safely say it was a waste of time. A tiny part of me also also wonders if,  would have gone to after school club, learnt a instrument , or developed a skill such as swimming. I was a slow learner, there's no denying that, so maybe those 10 ours a week spent at mosque school would have helped. 

This is one of many examples of why I think my parents simply took too much of a back seat when it came to parenting . My anxiety suggests that those that might be reading this, might think I am being dramatic; creating a story to make this blog post interesting, but I want to stress I am not. If you still don't believe me another example is my name. I was born Sayyed Husain Fazlarahman Fatmi . For some reason when it came to my parents and grandparents, other then filling out my name on birthday certificates and passports, it was it was just Husain Fazlarahman Fatmi. When I reached 18 this caused many issues such as being refused student loans, a and e emergency identification, phone bills etc. When asked why this was so, my parents said it's cause that's what my granddad wanted . Other examples include having our own house in east London but still living at our paternal grandmothers, my mum having four children despite her never  wanting us and telling us so every chance she got. 

Regarding the later it was allegedly because of a certain relative. Lastly, my parents unwillingness to acknowledge a close family members aggressive bipolar symptoms, whereby me and my siblings were left alone with them, for a month in Pakistan. This family member would shout at us, consistently, when we were there. And it was over petty things such as not wanting to marry a cousin, or me not dancing at a wedding ceremony.   Nothing was ever my parents fault, apparently they were held at gun point , and as a result, me and my siblings ended up  suffering. It's the lack of accountability that mostly makes me resent them I think. 

Alas any speaking of this directly to them of this has lead to strong words, so instead I am choosing to share these experiences. See accountability.