Parent Failure

 

I feel somewhat of guilt for the things I am about to say because I am aware if it was not for my parents I would not be alive . Also I was not sexually assaulted or was made to live on the street. So I am perfectly aware that I have not had the worst experience compared to those kids . 

However simply creating me is not something I can honestly be grateful for. What's the point in me writing this about my parents you may ask? It's simply because I want people to know , to fathom, that not all people get parents that are capable of unconditional love, are interested in raising another human being , and just because your parents did not sexually assault/ make you homeless does not make them great parents .

On other hand, note I won't be specifying whether I am going to refer to whether I am talking about  mum or dad specifically , because these people are still alive and I simply do not feel comfortable exploiting these people in such a manner .  Another reason is honestly it does not matter , both parents in my eyes share the blame and are I think bad as each other . 

Firstly , growing up I had parent A that seemed more interested in what we wore, and what we did for them , or how we appeared in front of others . For the later you maybe thinking awe this parent was teaching us how to treat others . To that I say no , it was more about us kids, not making a fool of them. Let me give you an example , if we danced funny , or pulled a face at no one, it was considered to be embarrassing . However , there was none of this go and help your grand ma or grand dad. Instead it was wear this and go and make me tea etc. 

The other parent, although did defend us multiple times, I guess got tired of fighting with her , and in the end just seemed to either put up with it or beat them. That was another  thing about  parent A , it seemed to be either do as I say , or you'll have to do something that will allow me to call the police on you. Come to think about it, that's probably why the many fights my parents had with each other, that parent B has not ended up in prison . Do I think we may have all been happier if parent B divorced parent A ? Absolutely , but I guess they felt they could not live without part A. I honestly think as result we all had to suffer the offsprings had to suffer the insults and general mental torture of parent A . 

Secondly , there seemed to be no interest in us academically or emotionally  . There was no 'have you done the home work ' , instead we got 'why is the bathroom dirty or the staircase needs hoovering . I know some of you will jump on the fact that chores are important to teach children responsibility , and whilst I agree, also giving an F about how well your child is doing, is also important; taking them to football , karate , drama school whatever the kid is in to, I think , is also important if anything just for social interaction . Instead we were made to go to school all day and then islamic school all evening. Islamic school literally consisted of us reading and memorising verses , but not being taught the meaning behind what we were saying . 

In recent times there has been horrible things said about my nephews, simply because parent A did not feel like she was getting enough attention from her offsprings and insults about the way her offsprings look at any given chance . Meanwhile parent B has in my opinion become somewhat of zombie , devoid of any emotions or need to back his offsprings up . 

How am I actually handling this you may ask? By keeping gatherings with them to a minimum. I no longer allow them to celebrate my birthday with me , nor attend any Christmas or New year's gatherings where they will be . It's just not worth being miserable,  esp at those times in my opinion .