Sunshine

This post is going to be somewhat different. Sure racism, homophobia, sexism and my own anxiety was and still a continuous battle I want to highlight a few beautiful moments from my childhood, adolescents and 20s. 

Like always, let's start from the beginning. For some reason all I seem to remember from my childhood is it always being sunny. Perhaps one of the biggest highlights of this was those many times my uncle took me and my older sis bike riding around the spacious, quint, and in my opinion stunning parts of East London. 

London City Airport 

Victoria Park a night 

The Zip Wire Tire Thingy as I remember it!

Behind my grandparents house lay a bike track seeming to go on for miles and miles, or at least seemingly so with my tiny little legs. It was super fun; in sight were landfills, rivers, lakes, an airport and parks. One of the parks (Victoria Park I believe) was quite extraordinary since it had a tire attached to a zip wire, where we would swing endlessly for a good hour, and a big ass slide. The time it took for us to get to the park meant that it was dark, but this in my opinion made it even more exciting as me and sis were into being spooked and the horrors we associated with the dark from all the horror films we probably should not have watched back then. I did find it beautiful and still do when amongst the darkness, how  lampposts illuminate the otherwise darkest surroundings. 

Another fun and always exciting time was when my Lolo (granfather in tagalong) who use to wake us up in the early hours of the morning to either take us to McDonald's or the seaside. McDonald's was always fun; and still to this day commerate those times by always having a hot chocolate with either pancakes and sausage, of the egg mcmuffin. The McDonald's our Lolo took us too (back then it was me, and my two sisters) was in docklands with its newly built New York style tall tall apartment complexes, parks and of course the river Thames. Central to these places was , as I recall, a walkway beside a skateboarding park, where me and my sister's would run around for a while being in awe about the amount of space amongst a clear blue and sunny sky. I was big on the singer 'Des'ree' and one the songs that I associate with such times was her song "You gotta be' with it's up tempo, world loving , positive lyrics, beat, and melody'. 

When my younger bro came along, as with any family I guess, with our 11 year age gap I found myself almost acting like a father figure. He was this sweet baby boy I felt the need to guide and protect. This made home life a bit more interesting as I got to watch him grow up, his first steps , his first words and taking over some of the time, cooking, bathing and clothing him.

I remember this one time me, my sister's, brother and parents all went to Butlins, he was in the water and had gone a bit too far, so naturally I grabbed him and took him to the poolside; as I did, he said to me 'you saved me' ; so so cute. I will admit it was nice having someone that looked up to me, believed in me, and trusted me, it seemed very few others did at the time. 

 

Going abroad, for some reason, was not really a thing, and when we did tbh was pretty bleak. Particularly in India my grandma's family use to make fun out of me, I suspect because I was scrawny and fainted whilst I was there once or twice.  Even to this day, as an adult who has full control of who he mingles with, I have no intention of seeing them again. Sorry, but it's true. Athens (I got to see the acropolis) and Paris were kinda fun, but there was some family dramas there too lol.

Anyway, my first enjoyable holiday abroad with my sister and her then partner at the time. We went to Eygpt. Cairo was particularly fun for me especially fulfilling one of my life long dreams to visit the Pyramids. 

Coming back to London was also followed by more excitement, I was soon to start uni , and during that summer, me and my best friend spend many nights out in soho. I had my first kiss with someone who was super hot (visually at least, it never really went further ). 

My friends at uni on the London eye. 

Before uni- Before buzz cuts were a thing (unfortunately). Do not know what I was thinking growing out my hair like this?, It looks like a wig. Why am I not holding the cup straight? So many questions. 

Uni was fun also, I got to feel like I was finally heading somewhere, since the age of say 17 I always knew I wanted to be a counsellor; the driving forcing being wanting to listen to people even when no one else would,  and actually understand the talker . Maybe in someways something I wished for myself. To move things in that direction I did Physcology, and although I believe my social anxiety ruined friendships I made there, I survived and eventually did pass. The friends I did have were just 2 people, two lovely, kind, funny ladies, that were always there for me, and would forever be thankful for. 

I guess locations are fun, but it's who you spend it with that really counts. Quality is more important then quantity as far as I am concerned .